The Grim Tale
by A Seemingly Endless Sporadic
Summary: She was a young girl, unable to trust herself... especially around knives. But after she tries to help someone who feels pain like she odes, she learns about love and to control herself. Summary sucks, I know! SnapeXOC fluff/semi-lemon chapter 5 is up
1. The Beginning

As I sat on in my chair, warm tears sliding down my face, I began to remember how I had gotten in this awkward position. Being the only one trying not to scream in pain as someone is being buried. Being the only who cared... It was pure torture. I thought about the good and bad times we had endured together. I thought about being the only one ever slightly able to plaster on a smile during the good. As he felt only pain, I slowly became the same. The feeling of adrenaline as it all happened was amazing, but now it was over. Gone. Vanished. And now I can't help but fall into the deep, dark insanity of despair. It had been the best six years of my life, followed by a never ending year of waiting. Waiting for this. I sat still, and all I could do now was try to breathe. Try to live. Live without him. It seems silly to some how I felt about such a man, but it was the true feeling of love.

"Gomenasai, Severus," I whispered, "shiotoshita." A few people gave me a weird look. I sometimes spoke in Japanese when I didn't want anyone to judge how I felt. "Ai shi teru." _I love you..._

_

* * *

_

Confused yet? Well, let's go back to the beginning of my grim tale. It started seven years ago, during my second year at Hogwarts...

* * *

Year One

**Oct. 16th**

What could I do but sit awake in the common room. I felt homesick, like I always did for the first three months or so of school. Though it was late, a few fellow Slitheryns girls sat around me, chatting about how the new Defense Agaisnt the Dark Arts was. It was rather sickening. Being in love with a teacher... Gross...

I sat up again and tried to look interested. These were some of my best friends, after all. I watched them whisper, then joined in on their giggling. I was used to it. I couldn't help feeling distant. I was different, and that was that. I didn't get a feeling of being special because of it, I actually felt rather unimportant because of it.

What made me special was the fact that I was the fact that I was a simple half-blood, and yet no one was without respect towards me. Most even feared me.

"Aurianna, are you even listening anymore?" asked one of my friends,

"No." Oops, that's not what I meant to say... "I'm off to bed, then." I cursed under my breath at my stupidity.

Before settling into bed, I brushed my long, brown hair because I knew it would give me hell the next morning if I didn't. I sighed and climbed to bed, finally managing to get the brush through. Why was the world so... painful..?

I thought about what one of my friends had said earlier: Life can only be great you give a little love. I laughed to myself. Love. I had never thought about it before. Of course I didn't know how close to it I'd get latter on...

* * *

**Oct. 17th**

It pains me to see students mocking teachers. It must take so must courage to get up in front of these idiots... Especially that Weasly boy! He has no talent, and no respect for the teachers. Honestly! He deserves a good hit in the head with a nice brick.

I turned my attention back to professor Snape at the front of the class. I loved potions class, it came so naturally to me. But Prof. Snape always seems so sad... It hurts me deep inside to see another mortal in as much pain as I.

Oh, dear, I must stop thinking in such an elaborate fashion! It's not so simple to stop doing so if I've done it my entire life... Anyway...

I felt a pain in my heart to see the sadness in his eyes... I knew that only I could understand it, and I must help him.

* * *

**Oct. 31st**

Halloween. A festive time. The time to chase away bad spirits. To chase away unwanted pasts...

I walked through the hall with in a crowd of students hungry for the feast, though I thought only of the promise I must fulfill. It was tonight that I would find out how tom make him happy once more...

* * *

I strayed off to the side as students ran past. I hope Prof. Snape doesn't believe me to be a stalker. I would soon find out!

"Professor," I cried, stepping in next to him. I tried to keep up with him as he walked on.

"What do you want, child?" he asked.

"Why are you so sad?" I asked, deciding to just get to the point. It seemed to take him by surprise, and he stopped for a second before continuing.

"What do mean? I'm perfectly fine."

"But all the sadness in your eyes... it can't be an act. I've never seen so much pain."

"Your out of line, child," he replied, failing to take notice of the heavy concern in my voice.

"But, I just want to help!" I insisted.

"This world is cruel, and no one can save anyone from that simple fact."

"I know better than anyone that you can't keep it held up inside," I said, holding up my wrists. His eyes lazily hovered over the deep cuts in my wrists. He simply shook his head and walked on, leaving me behind. "Ouch! Attempt one: fail."


	2. Silly, Silly Teachers

**Nov. 4th**

Okay, I've preformed some research on Prof. Snape. My sources lead me to believe that, to learn anything at all, I must speak with Harry Potter. Ouch. So I guess I must meet with him in secret now. Ouch.

* * *

"I want the facts," I demanded, yanking Harry in behind a pillar.

"So you need my help?" he asked, smirking.

"I admit it: I need help from a Gryffindor."

"That's what I like to hear. What do you need?"

"I need to know of any reason why professor Snape would be unhappy," I replied regretfully, spitting at his feet.

"I have numerous replies to cet question." He thought hard for a second. "He was in love with my mother. He _was_ tormented terribly when he was our age..."

"I see..."

"Wait, why do you need to know?"

"I can't stand the sadness in his eyes," I replied simply.

"Okay..." He escaped my firm grasp on his robes and ran off.

"I don't know how to deal with the love thing, but the torture thing is a good start," I thought aloud.

* * *

I smiled to myself as I sat in bed, thinking about what I could do. I knew I could just listen to his thoughts and then discuss them... No, he'd never agree to that. Think... think... Nothing. I know I'll come up with something!

I turned over in my bed, wondering why I must always draw a blank. I know that there's something I can do...

* * *

**Nov. 5th**

Prof. Snape tried to avoid me as I ran up to him. "Sir, please-"

"What do you want?"

"I just want to help."

"I'm not into children, if that's what you really want. I most certainly to not wish to have the same conversation that we did last time."

"You still love Lily Evans, don't you?" I demanded. I knew this would hurt him, but I didn't know what else to do.

"That's insane."

"Well, you know what?" I asked, ignoring his weak reply. "She's gone. She loved someone else, and now she's gone. Dead. And you know it's your fault." His eyes grew colder as more sadness filled them, but on the outside, he simply became more enraged. It was a bloody awful thing to see. "See, you still feel the pain. You need help."

"It wasn't my fault!"

"I know, but you don't believe it," I choked on my words, hating to have to cause him so much pain. I hated causing others pain. I hated violence. I hated this world. "Professor, you need some serious help."

"Leave. Now." I paid no attention to his words. I ran up and wrapped my arms around his chest. Though he tried to shove me off, I held on tight. "That's detention for a week. Starting tomorrow."

"I don't care. You need a hug." I laughed at what I had said, though he wasn't in the least amused.

* * *

**Nov. 6th**

"You're a shame to the Slytherin house, and you will clean every inch of this classroom."

"All I did was care..." I sighed.

"You will listen next time."

"You don't feel the slightest bit warmed?" I asked. "I guess I'll just give you a hug every day until you feel better." Prof. Snape simply starred at me in disbelief. "Ouch."

* * *

**Nov. 14th**

Ten hugs. No change. I wonder if he'll ever feel better... Maybe his heart is just too small... I just need to teach him to cope like I can...

I caressed my wrists gently. Maybe that's not such a good idea...

* * *

**Nov. 30th**

After my many hours of detention, I couldn't manage a smile anymore. I was done with trying to cope.

As I turned to leave, Prof. Snape grabbed my wrist. I felt the cuts burning.

"What? More detention? I told you: I gave up on the hug thing."

"Why do you feel the need to do this?"

"I just hate to see people in pain like I am. I know that it hurts," I sighed.

"You think you know the pain?"

"I _live_forthe pain. It helps me know I'm still alive. The sadness in your eyes hurts my heart. It brings more pain than I have ever felt..." I laughed nervously. "You think I pathetic, don't you? A stupid girl who obsesses over other people's business... I've still failed to help you. Do you know how that makes me feel!?" I starred at him, secretly pleading for a bit sympathy or compassion. "I feel insignificant, incapable, and bloody awful. I would like to leave now." Tears formed in the corner of my eyes. I tried to hide the fact that I was crying, and turned to leave.

I hoped I hadn't hurt him by saying what I had said. But I turned around to catch a small smile playing on his lips.

"What?" I cried out in despair. I didn't want to get in troubled, so I turned to leave again. But his hand on my shoulder held me in place. I turned around around uncertainly, only to feel his lips being placed on mine. But I pulled away in horror. "But... I'm only twelve... and you're a teacher... This is wrong..." But when I saw I wasn't the only one crying, I stopped and smiled.

"I know," he whispered. "And I know I need help. I blame myself for everything."

"Professor..." I gave in to the embrace, and let the tears flow freely. "Gomenasai... I didn't know I had caused you so much pain..."

"You should go. It's late." I wiped my tears and looked up.

"I suppose you're right. Are you okay, though?" He nodded in reply. "Tell me if you ever feel sad." And with that, I left.

* * *

Do you like it so far? Honestly, I just write what's within my heart. Reviews are appreciated, but I won't force you to write them. Hey, I'm Canadian, I'm nice!


	3. Michael Jackson?

**Dec. 1st**

I don't know why I had been embarrassed by what I had said the other night, but I was, and I couldn't stop thinking about it. It was weird to think that I had kissed a teacher...

I felt my lips gently with my finger tips and sighed. Why couldn't I let it go? It was over... but was it really? I was so young... so easily scarred for life... so easily hurt... Why had he done it? It could have destroyed me! But it didn't. Weird.

* * *

I decided to stay behind after potions class to confront Prof. Snape. I stayed seated and directed my gaze away from his, but I couldn't help but notice he seemed almost happy. Not to the normal eye, of course. The sadness was gone, and I good inside because of it. But it wasn't so much the sense of accomplishment as something else... I wasn't sure _what_ it was exactly, but I just felt good.

"Umm..." I wasn't sure what to say. I guess I hadn't really thought this through... "I guess I just want to know where we stand." There, that was a good start.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, last night you kissed me. That was weird." Okay, I've always read about this certain moment in books and such and knew for sure that I would do fine in that position. How sad is that? Not to mention that me thinking this only makes it more cheesy... "Sir, I just don't understand exactly what this is. If you are in the vulnerable position I believe you to be in, one mistake on my behalf could do terrible damage."

"There is nothing to understand. What is, is. That is all. Is that clear?"

"Good. I like when things are simple." I spoke with more certainty that I thought I had within me, though I wasn't sure I knew what I to do next, or what I meant for that matter. I acted purely on impulse as I made my way over to him. "I know it's wrong and all that, but..." I let my voice trail off, uncertain of what to say next. I finally gathered the courage and pressed my lips gently to his. I stepped back and waited. I wasn't sure that I had done the right thing. What if I had just made a fool of myself? What if I had just earned more detention?

I stood still. That's all I could do. As time ticked by, I waited.

"Please tell me it's that simple," I said finally, unable to take the silence for another second. "Oh God, I think I may cry a-" Trust me, being silenced by someone placing their lips on yours isn't all it's cut out to be...

I couldn't resist running my fingers through his curtain-like hair as he pulled me closer. It was like... silk. A dream. Life itself existed exclusively in Severus Snape's hair.

Beinga the pushy girl that I am, I allowed my lips to part slightly and traced his bottom lip with my tongue. Acess granted. Our tongues clashed, and I moaned. We broke apart for a few seconds for air, and I was pushed across the room. I hit the edge of something that kept me from moving any farther and dug into my lower back. I tried to catch my breath as he kissed up and down my neck. He suddenly flipped me over so that I was lying on the table. He bent over and whispered in my ear, "We should go eat."

"No. I wouldn't even be able to eat, anyway. Snogging my teacher - though pleasureable - has ruined my appetite," I managed to say.

"You've never had fantasies about an older man?"

"Well, that guy, Alan Rickman. I suppose he's pretty old."

"He's really not that old."

"Trust me, he's _really _old," I insisted. Prof. Snape just shook his head.

"Do you really want to do this?"

"Are you fucking kidding?" I looked up and nodded.

* * *

**Dec. 2nd**

I must have fallen asleep, because I woke up and it was late. Really late. Thank God I had been sleeping in Prof. Snape's bed instead of on the table. I can't even imagine how stiff I would be. I sat up and looked around, but I couldn't see a thing.

"I guess I'll have to escort you back to your dorm."

"Yeah, I would probably get in trouble..." I couldn't even think straight. Everything seemed like a dream. I guessed that I was still half asleep.

* * *

**Dec. 17th**

I was happy to be called to see Prof. Snape. We hadn't really talked in a while. But I knew that it would be a goodbye, as I left for the holidays the next day. I went as quickly as I could I will admit I was excited yet anxious, and a little sad, all at once.

I heard a scream, but I knew it was only in my head. It happened a lot. I saw things that weren't even there. I always felt cold, no matter what. It was a terrible feeling, and I sometimes managed to forget about it for a second or so.

"So I guess you leave tomorrow." He sounded almost... sad.

"Severus... I..."

"Don't say anything," I muttered. Prof. Snape stood up and inspected me.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I've always felt... cold. But lately, I see and hear things that aren't real."

"Like what? What do you see?"

"I see death. Blood. Despair. And..." I hesitated. "He Who Must Not Named. But it's nothing. Really. Insanity is my best friend." Prof. Snape stared off in the distance.

"You're troubled by it in the least?"

"No, I'm fine. I just thought I'd let you know." I looked up and waited for him to say something. Anything. Instead, he just wrapped me in his arms. "Severus... I can't feel any warmth." I closed my eyes tightly. "I may be forever cold, but I still love you."

"I thought I told you not to say anything stupid."

* * *

**Dec. 18**

I looked around at all the people leaving today. All these people who would go home, away from all their friends to stay with their real family for two whole weeks. Of course I was one of them. I saw some people saying goodbye to their boyfriend or girlfriend who we're staying, making kissy faces.

"I think I may vomit." Prof. Snape quickly passed by, making me jump. I laughed, knowing it'd be the last thing he said to me before I left.

* * *

**Dec. 19**

I laid awake in bed. I couldn't help but worry about Severus. I hated to think that he was sad.

My mother walked in and sighed. "Aurianna, it's late."

"I just can't sleep."

"Why?"

"I'm thinking. About stuff."

"You're friends?"

"I don't really hang out with my friends that much," I said. I instantly regretted it, knowing she would ask about everything.

"Why not? Did something happen?" I remained silent. "Is it because of a boy?"

"Mother-mine, you know I don't think like to wonder on such a subject. I'm not like some sort of machine. My mind doesn't linger upon the simple subject of guys... like how I can't help but detest pink."

"Why do talk like that?"

"Like what, mother dearest?" My mom just shook her head.

"But really: is there any boys you might be interested in," she asked me. I just stared at her, so she decided to move on. "What have you been doing lately?"

"Nothing."

"What do you like best about school."

"Potions. I find it really easy... almost fun."

"Is professor Snape still your favorite teacher?"

"Yeah..."

"I knew him in school. He always seemed a little strange... I didn't like him much. He tended to retreat to himself a lot. He didn't really have any friends, either. He was a pretty weird kid, I will admit."

"Maybe if all of you hadn't tormented him so, he would be fine! Especially that jackass James Potter. He nearly ruined his life. I mean, after being tortured mercilessly for years, of course he retreated to himself! Not to mention he stole the women he was infinitely in love with. The sadness in his eyes makes me wan to cry! I swear to God if I meet James Potter in the afterlife, he'll be taking a nice trip to the after-afterlife! First, I'll smack him with a nice, solid brick, then stab him repeatedly with a butter knife, and to finish off, I'll carve out his heart with a wooden spoon!"

"Whoa, hey. Calm down."

"Sorry, it just makes me so mad."

"How do you know about Lily, anyway? And about the torturing thing?"

"Umm... I... I'm really tired. I think I would like to sleep now." Mother-mine looked at me suspiciously, but decided it best to just leave.

* * *

**Dec. 24th**

My parents had gone to do some last minute shopping and left me home alone. As soon as they had pulled out of driveway, I let out a scream of pain. I collapsed onto my knees and let the tears flow freely. I hated this... acting. I hated pretending I wasn't in love with Severus... pretending pretending my brother wasn't dead... pretending I could control myself... pretending I was perfectly sane... pretending I was happy... It was pure torture. I couldn't feel anything. My body was numb.

I continued to scream as I rolled around on the cold, hard floor. I felt tears running down my face. I didn't bother to fight them. This was my time to let it all go, all that unbareable anger and pain.

I crawled to the the kitchen counter and hauled myself up, just managing to grab a knife. I fell to the floor and dragged it along my arm. Bitting down harder and harder on my bottom lip, I cut down deeper and deeper into my left arm. Tears rolled down my face, and I screamed loudly. I moved the knife down my arm, ready to start again.

"Aurianna, please stop..." The faint voice made me jump. I dropped the bloody knife, and managed to stop screaming. I began panting heavily.

"Wha..?" I searched the room frantically. No one had ever seen me like this, and I didn't want any one to have to.

"Whatever you're doing in there, please stop..." I stood up slowly and ran to the door. I opened it up, and my jaw dropped.

"Severus... umm..."

"What have you done!?" I looked at the bloody mess of my wrist was in laughed nervously.

"You know, I was making myself a nice snack and a knife fell out of the cupboard," I lied. "You know, a really big one... And when I tried to take it out, I dropped it back in again. And few more times after that. Then I accidentally stabbed it right in there!"

"Come with me so I can fix it up," he said.

"I'll have to leave a note for my parents in case the come back early, or something like that."

"Hurry up. I'll find something to bandage your wrist up for now. And clean up that awful mess on the floor."

* * *

"Why were at my house, Severus?" I couldn't help asking. He slowly removed the old ripped up shirt from my arm.

"This'll hurt a little." sprinkled something on the cut, making it sting.

"Nice place you've got here..." We sat in a dark room, and many interesting little trinkets lined the walls. I was respectably clean, and delightfully cold. "Oww... what are you-"

"Oh, stop complaining!" he shouted. He examined my arm and sighed. "What's this?"

"What?"

"What do you mean what? You know what I'm talking about!"

"I honestly have no idea what you're talking about." And that was the truth. Promise.

"You've carved a bloody 'S' in your wrist!"

"Oh... That's what you meant. Will it heal?"

"Maybe. Maybe not. Why did you do it?"

"It's not just because of you... It's mainly for my late little brother. My family and I were in a car crash a few years ago. My parents and I survived. My brother didn't."

"I'm sorry."

"No, don't worry! It's fine!" I plastered a fake smile on my face, and laughed.

_"Aurianna... go! Please... I'll see you in heaven. I'll look out for you. Promise!"_

I shook my head violently as his voice filled my head.

"The car went right off a cliff. He didn't get out. They found his body at bottom. I remember all the news articles, all the picture of the car... the car with the body of a dead boy in the back seat..." I watched as the boy I knew as he walked inside and stood in the corner, head snapped back like Nearly Headless Nick, but I knew it was only my imagination. Blood spirited from the scrapes on his little body. "I've never felt... sure of anything since then. My parents aren't seen without a smile anymore, though." As time ticked on, my dead brother failed to disappear. "Now I can see him standing in the corner. I can't stand it anymore! Why won't my stupid hallucinations stop?"

"You've lost so much damn blood, that's why!"

"I guess I should go home... to rest a little."

"Fine, but I'm never going to leave you by yourself. I just don't trust you."

* * *

"You house is so... bright."

"I know, honestly, though, sunlight hurts my eyes. I spend all my time in my room. I write, read and draw. That's what I do all day long," I sighed. "I need to find something better to waste my time on."

"What's this?" he inspected a sort of blanket draped on the couch.

"I crochet a lot, too. I choose dark colors in attempt to level out the room." What? I'm proud of my crocheting skills! "I'm gonna head upstairs. Don't feel so good." I quickly ran upstairs and looked around. Damn, were are you, you stupid cat! I don't want you walking on me while I'm trying to sleep... I gave up and went into my room to lie down. Of course. There was there was cat. I didn't want to wake him, so I got into bed on the left side. I liked the other side better, the pillows were softer...

* * *

I screamed loudly, sitting up in bed. I couldn't remember what had happened.

"You were only asleep for a few minutes..."

"I know... Wait..." Looked up and noticed that Severus had taken the place of my cat. He laid on his back staring at the ceiling. "When did you get there?"

"After you fell asleep. Aren't those The Beatles?" I turned on to my back and looked up.

"Yeah... I like John... But he died around the time I was born. I like Paul best." I smiled. "Actually, he was my inspiration for learning the piano."

"You can play the piano?"

"Not really. I started learning last summer, so I haven't gotten much practice," I sighed. "It's true, though..."

"What?"

"All you need is love. It's one of the best songs of all time. And it's message is as clear as it is true."

"Who's that there?" I looked at the poster that he was pointing at that depicted a man with extremely curly hair in a half-zippered black jacket and black pants in mid-moonwalk.

"Have you never heard of Michael Jackson?" I asked.

"No." I stared at him disbelief.

"Oh. My. God. You-" I stopped and decided to let it go. "Wow, it's actually pretty late..."

"You should sleep."

"Okay, but my parents will be back soon. You'll have to watch out." I flipped over onto my side. I felt him wrap his arms around me cautiously, trying not to touch my poor wrist.

* * *

**Dec. 25th**

I got a few... _interesting_ things for Christmas. And guess what? No ugly sweaters! Of course the best gift I got was the company I got yesterday from Severus. I only wish that I could see him today. I hope I'd be left alone before the break ends so that he would come see me again.

* * *

**Dec. 31**

I sat in bed on New Years Eve. I couldn't help but think about what Severus was doing. It was about 10:00, and my parents had left for a party a little while ago. I hated to think that he had to stay at Hogwarts.... I myself hated having to leave the house.

"I know good things will come in the new year," I muttered to myself. "I just have a feeling..."


	4. The Mary Sue of the Year Award Goes To

**Jan 1st.**

So I'm sitting here in bed in the early morning. Now that I think about it, it's 1993 now... It doesn't feel like a new year... feels rather old. I feel old. Umm... I suppose I have some thinking to do about my life. Let's list my accomplishments of last year:

1. I didn't die

2. I helped a sad man

3. I found love

4. I lost my virginity

5. I turned twelve

Okay, four and five don't go well together, but oh well. Goals for this year:

1. Learn to play the piano better (with my hands, not my wand)

2. Do better in Divination

3. Get in touch with my old Muggle friends

4. Don't die

5. Don't get raped by a homeless man

Those seem like good goals. I like them. But I cheated and used my goals from last year.

"Darn," I muttered to myself.

"What?" asked a voice behind me, making me jump. I fell right out of bed, slamming my head on the floor.

"Oww," I sighed, rubing my head.

"You stupid girl! Why can't you be more careful?"

"Gomenasai!" I cried, looking up at Severus. I struggled against the blankets pinning me to the floor. Who knew two simple blankets could be so troublesome? "Can I get some help please? Maybe? Almost?" He sighed and lifted the blankets off, allowing me to get up.

"Honestly!"

"I said I was sorry!"

"But what if you had cracked your bloody head open? What would I do? What if you died! What would be left for me in this world then?!" I had never seen someone this upset. I began to wonder if I had really made him happy after all...

"Happy New Year," I offered hestantly. He just stood and starred at me.

"You aren't going to hug me, are you?"

"Cha, no!" I laughed. Of course I lied.

"Remind me why I bother to waste my time with you?"

"To tell you the truth, Severus, I don't know." I saw him took out his wand, ready for departing. I reached out and grabbed his arm. "You may be twenty years older than me... sure you might be follower of the dark lord... and you may be a slight buzzkill..." He frowned as I said that. "But You're the closest thing I've ever had to a friend."

"Oh don't st-"

"And I love you," I finished. As I said these words, I realised how sad and pathetic my love was. Why were such unfortunate moments always coming _our _way? "Severus, I really do. I just want you to know that." He cupped my cheek in his hand. Our faces now inches apart, I could feel his breath on my face.

"Why? How could you?" he asked. "You know I could amount to what you think of me."

"I know you're a good man. I've always known it. Can't we just be broken together?" I asked intently. He remained silent, eyes lockeed on mine. "Professor..." I quickly closed the remaining distance between us.

Of course this time we moved with a little more certainty. He shook off his long black cape as I slowly wirggled out of my shorts. (Of course I don't wear pants that fit properly to bed. Are you high?) We broke and I fell backwards onto my bed, where I waited impatiently as Severus slowly undressed.

Though I knew my parents wouldn't return from thier party until at least noon today, I couldn't help but worry about getting caught.

I cried out in pain upon the first thrust. Warm tears welled in my eyes, bluring my vision slightly. I looked up at Severus and nodded to signal that I was fine. Oh God this hurts...

* * *

"Why are you watching this?"

"What's wrong with the news?" I asked, turning to face Severus.

"It's rather dull."

"What do you want to watch, then?"

"Well, it's 7:30, so... channel nine."

"Fine." I got up and went over to change the channel. Five, six... nine. Okay then... "Really? Looney Toons, Severus?"

"I find it rather amusing. See, that was great," he said, pointing to the screen.

"You aren't laughing..."

"I'm laughing on the inside."

"Lovely."

"Oh, PLEASE don't tell me you're crying!"

"I-i-it's just... Wile E. Coyote tries so hard... and... and... he always gets the crap beat out of him!" I looked at him through teary eyes, not sure what had come over me. I noticed he looked rather uncomfortable, and I realized how awkward this situation really was. "Oh, look at that... the TV finally gave into the magic. How magical!" I starred at the snowy picture in the screen.

"I think I better be going," he said. We said our goodbye, and he went over to the door. His froze, half way out the door. "Shit..."

"Well, if it isn't Severus Snape!" I heard my mother cry.

* * *

"I had know idea they would be home early," I whispered to Severus, who sat next to me. We were on our way to dinner. Appearantly, my father was one of Severus' muggle friends. One of his only friends. Plus my mom thought she should get to know my favorite teacher. Oh joy...

"Oh, I'm enjoying myself. Baby pictures, old memories... I just can't believe we're going... swimming... tomorrow! How did they talk us into it?"

"No idea," I sighed. "And don't you have to get back to the school?"

"I'm so glad you could join us," my father called from the front seat. "We haven't gone swiming in so long as a family. Aurianna is a proper little fish, ya know."

"Really?" he asked, turning to look at me. I shook my head in disagreement.

* * *

**Jan. 2nd**

"Why won't you two join us?" my mother called from the pool. I didn't know what to say. I hadn't told her about my fear of water (I haven't told anyone... ever), and I knew that Severus felt like a fish out of water (ha ha, get it?). So now we both sat poolside, reading.

"You know, you can go in without me," I whispered. "Besides, when we're both not in it looks like one doesn't want to leave the other. And I must say, my parents look pretty weirded out."

"I'm _not _getting my hair wet," he replied, not looking up from his book.

"Well, I _-- _wait, did you say you won't go in because you don't want to get your hair wet?"

"Yes, are you deaf?"

"What your Dark Mark?" He looked surprised. "Oh come on! As if I wouldn't have noticed by now. I want to have a talk about that later, thank you very much."

"I smothered it in make-up before I left my house this morning. See?" He held up his arm so that I could see.

"Ah, the magic of make-up!"

"Yeah, well, I still look ridiculous." He yanked off his towel to reveal his red swimming trunks that were far to large. The woman next to us starred at his pale, slim figure, and seemed almost frightened.

"I think you look just as great as usual," I assured him. "Hey, I had to borrow my mom's old _bikini_! I HATE bikinis."

"Well, I suppose that is pretty bad..."

"I hate going swimming."

"Aurianna!" I looked up to see one of my friends from Hogwarts coming towards us.

"Hey Matthew," I called, getting up to greet him with a hug. "How've you been?"

"Good, good... What're you doing with... _him_?" he asked, looking at Severus.

"Oh, my parents wanted to get to know my favorite teacher. Gosh, you look so different without your Ravenclaw robes on."

"Yeah... Hey! Your hair is dry! Have you not been in yet?"

"No, uh..."

"Here, let me help you with that." He placed his hands on my waits, hoisted me up, and threw me over his shoulder. I pounded my fists against his back. Everyone just assumed it was some sort of game, and so did Matthew. "It's not cold, I promise!"

"Let me down! Please! You don't understand!" Too late. I was flying towards the water. Just before I hit the surface, Severus dropped his book and dove in.

As soon as I hit the water, the awful pool-water quickly filled my nose, ears, and mouth. All I had as a reminder that I was still alive was my terror. I could feel my throat grow tight, and my heart pounded in my chest. I felt as if I was floating in absolute nothingness.

I struggled to get to the surface, but I made no progress. I wasn't that I was a bad swimmer, I was just panicking to much to remember how to swim properly. I felt as if something grabbed my ankle was pulling me toward the bottom. I thrashed about, and I could feel myself slowly slipping out of consciousness. I suddenly felt warmth, and opened my eyes to find my vision blurred. My savior swam back up, and I felt hope.

I gasped for breath once we broke the surface. I finally caught my breath, and looked at Severus. "Oh my god! Get me out of here!" I sobbed. He held me tight against his chest as he swam us back to the edge of the pool, where he sat me down on the wonderful, solid ground. "The water!" He hopped out and ran to get me a towel. He can back and quickly dried me off.

"Are you okay?"

"I-I-I th-think," I replied. "I can't... the water..." My body shook with sobs again, so he took me and sat me down on a chair. He sat down next to me. I collapsed onto him, wrapping my arms around his neck. "Severus! I thought I was going to die!" I sobbed.

"See? You're fine." People were crowding around us now, hoping to make sure I was okay. Their plans were soon foiled by Severus. "Give her some room. You don't crowd around a claustrophobic with hydrophobia that has just been thrown in a pool. That's just cruel."

"How-" I froze mid sentence and starred at his arm where the concealer has began to rub off, revealing that God-awful Dark Mark. "Shit." I racked my brain for some solution to get him to see it without drawing the muggles' attention to it. I quickly grabbed his arm and held it against my chest.

"Umm... Aurianna?"

"Excuse me!" I heard my mother shriek. "What do you think you're doing?" I was unsure of why she seemed uspet untill I looked down and say where Severus' hand now rested. Merlin, way am I so foolish?!

* * *

"I want to know how you knew about my little phobias," I said. The four of us sat in the car now, on our way to dinner.

"How many times has Draco made you cry by locking you up in the supply closet?"

"Oh yeah... Why does he do that?"

"Because, you've always been my favorite student."

"Ah, now the other one."

"I was there when the incident happened last year. When you fell into the lake and the mer-people started pulling you towards the bottom."

"And?"

"Don't you remember who dove into save you?"

"Oh yeah..."

"And you were screaming and thrashing about for hours afterwards. I just assumed that when you put up a fight against Matthew..."

"Ha, well. Good to know you know more about me than my parents. Makes me feel loved," I said sarcastically.

* * *

I could hear my mother crying in the other room when Severus opened the door and asked me to come in. "What did you do?" I asked.

"I'm not proud of it, but I made both of your parents cry."

"You didn't bring up... my brother... did you?"

"Uh..." I just shook my head in disapproval.

"Not okay," I added before following him into the living room. I found both my parents on the couch, tears in their eyes. "Okay... what happened?"

"We're bad parents," they both replied in unison.

"What? Not!" I assured them.

"Yes, we really are. I mean, your _teacher _knows you better than we do."

"Well..." I wasn't sure what to say. I turned to Severus. "Why would you tell them this?"

"I didn't... I just..."

"He thinks you be better off with him as your legal guardian," my mother sighed. "And I think he's right."

"Yeah but what if..." I looked at Severus.

"Never." He took me in his arms and whispered in my ear, "I would never let you go. Ever." Tears filled my eyes, and I didn't feel like I ever wanted to let go.

"What?" asked my mother when she saw the tears in my eyes.

"Nothing," I whispered. "But I think it would be... a little weird. I mean... my teacher?" I tried to sound as weirded out as possible by such a subject, though it sounded too good to be true.

"I just... don't think we're fit parents. We always ignore the fact that you still hurt over you brother, and we neglect you at times. I can't feel that I could really... give you the... the love you need," said my mother. "I think it's best. Why don't you start packing your things. We'll try to get you out before you return to school on Wednesday." I stood and starred at them in disbelief. I can't believe my parents felt this way!

"Go on, then," Severus urged. I didn't have to wait to be told again. I ran up stairs and began slowly taking apart my room. I couldn't believe all this was happening.

* * *

**Jan. 4th**

"So, we'll make the spare bedroom into your... official bedroom then," Severus told me. He showed me where the spare room was located and followed me in. "Want me to help?"

"No, I think I'm good," I replied.

"Sorry, but I don't have a television set."

"I'll survive. Besides, the magic always fucks up the picture. I'll see you in a bit, then. Wait, don't you have to be at the school?" I kept asking this all day, but never got an answer. Umm...

* * *

I made my way through the dark hallway and stood in Severus' doorway.

"Let me guess: your bed is unsatisfactory?"

"Yeah..."

"If you wanted to share a bed, all you had to do was ask." I smiled and walked over to his bed. I climbed in next to him. I snuggled up close to him.

"Your PJs are cute," I said. "Little cows..." I got the sudden urge to ask the question that had been bugging me all day. "What on Earth did you say to my parents, anyway?"

"I told them about how special you were and how you actually felt about yourself and everything around you. I simply told them how much more you could be with the right guidance. That's all it takes to get loving parents on your side. But that's not what I really wanted to say about you. I wanted to talk about wonderful you can be, or how beautiful you are..." I felt the blood rushing to my face, and I felt terribly embarrassed. He closed his eyes and shifted a little. "Look at me! My awfully large, crooked nose... uninviting black eyes... thin lips..."

"I think your wonderful! Your nose..." I gently placed a kiss on his nose. "Your eyes..." I placed a kiss on each closed lid. "And lips..." I brought my lips to his. The kiss was tender, and short, but left me happier than all the others we had shared. Suddenly I couldn't stand it anymore. "This is weird. This whole thing is weird. Why is everything going my way? Why do I feel like a real life 'Mary Sue'? Oh God, something bad is coming my way! I just know it! There has to be something so awful that'll make my life as miserable as was. But what?"

* * *

**Jan. 8**

"Any plans for tomorrow?" Severus asked me after class.

"It's Saturday, so I reckon I be off somewhere reading alone..." I sighed.

"Thats... interesting. Anyhing else? No events? Nothing?"

"Jeez, I already told you exactly what I ws doing tomorrow. Can leave yet?" Severus nodded and watched me leave. His face bore the saddest expression I had ever seen, and pretty sure that by then time I had collected all my things, he had tears in his eyes.

* * *

**Jan. 9**

Severus eyes rested on me the entire time during breakfast. He tried to corner me a few times, but my 'friends' never left my side. He followed me for most o the day. By the time I got to bed, I began to wonder if he maybe had a screw loose or something.

He seemed almost mad, and I began to wonder what on Earth I could have done. I felt pretty bad about whateverr it was.

* * *

**Jan. 22**

Yep. This is it. This was the bad thing I _knew _was coming I had vomiting all morning, and missed potions class. Any other class would have been fine with me...but this wasn't cool.

"That's it! I'm taking you to the hospital wing," one of my friends declared. They had all come back and gathered around me.

"Please, no! Don't make this more than it is!"

"What if you're really sick?"

"No!

"What if you have some rare, deadly disease?"

"'No' means no!"

* * *

"Okay, open wide," madam Pomfrey ordered.

"Wait, how did I get here?"

"We knocked you out after the third time you said no. We're really worried about you!" Susan told me. She was never really a good friend. She always seemed a little too... sinister for my liking.

"Open wide!" I did as she said and opened my mouth. She backed away.

"I _have _been vomiting all morning, ya know," I said, unable to suppress a small smile.

* * *

"What do I do?" I cried. I starred at Severus in disbelief. He continued to pace back and forth. "Stop pacing already!"

He took me by the shoulders and shook me violently. Of course, I didn't mind it. He hadn't been talking to me for about... thirteen days now. "Don't you see? This will get traced back to me!"

"Ha! I can't believe youre worried about yourself!" I laughed. "And I really thought you cared about me!"

"No, it's just that we'll both get in terrible trouble."

"Well, I don't care your reasons as long as I know you'll still stay with me. I DO care about the fact that they're kicking me out of here at the end of the month. You have to understand how mad I really an right now, though. How could you be so careless?" Severus just stood in front me, a small smile playing on his lips, and tears in his eyes. He took me in his arms and spun around.

"I can't believe it!"

"I wish I could be as happy as you... I will admit that being a teenage mother doesn't sound that great."

* * *

**Sorry its been so long since I updated! I've been finished for a while... but I wrote it on my iPod and forgot to post it. Good news, though! I'm almost finished February... I think.**


	5. Like A Cat!

**Feb. 1st**

"You don't have to leave, you know," professor Dumbledore told me, hid kind eyes filled with sorrow. "I don't want you feel like I made you leave. But this is professor Snape's descision to make."

"Aw, I can't be mad at you, professor. I know it's just my boy friends stupidity. He's just SO unbelievably idiotic that I'm almost sorry for him."

"Yes, well, it really wasn't very sensible, don't you agree, professor Snape?" Severus looked a little uncomfortable.

"Indeed, sir," he replied finally.

"But I must also point out you are somewhat responsible, are you not?"

"In what way?"

"You are to become her legal guardian, and she has been living with you, correct?"

"Yes."

"And you are her favorite teacher, making you one of her greatest influences. I also understand that she trusts you more than anyone else."

"I suppose that would be true..."

"I expected so much more from you, professor," he said, finally deciding to get to his point. "The only thing that could have been worse would be if you were the father of the child. Then I wouldn't be able to trust my own judgement anymore." He smiled though, to show his last statement was only a joke. I laughed nervously.

"I'm so sorry," said Severus, lowering his head in shame.

"Don't apologize to me." He nodded towards me.

"Oh, don't apologize to me, either! I should apologize for always being such a pain. I mean, how many times have you saved my life, or made me feel better when I was sad?" Severus couldn't hide his smile. " Shouldn't we be going, then? I'm not getting younger!"

"If you don't change your attitude, I'll lock you in the closet when we get home. I'll have you know I'm not joking."

"If I don't change my attitude?" I laughed. He dug his elbow into my side. "Oww!"

* * *

"What the hell am I supposed to do all day?" I asked a rather annoyed Severus.

"I don't know and I honestly don't care."

"Don't be so mean!" I frowned. "Why is it that you never seem to have an ounce of respect for me?" Severus just laughed and left the room, leaving me with an empty feeling in my stomach. "Real mature!" I called after him.

I sat down on my bed and put my head in my hands. What had I gotten myself into? I had no idea how I as going to get through this. He had been acting with quite a large amount of hostility towards me ever since I snapped at him for repeatedly asking me if I had any plans. Not to mention I didn't know a thing about parenthood...

Well, time to make amends...

"Severus?"

"What do you want?"

"I just wanted to say I was sorry..." He poked his head around the corner.

"Apology not accepted."

"What the..? Why not?!"

"Because I want you to owe me something."

"What?"

"I don't know... something."

"Fine! Have it your way," I cried, throwing my hands up in the air.

* * *

"I think it's funny how our PJs match... it's cute." I look at my pajama bottoms in th mirror. Severus acknowledged me with a nod. "Why won't you speak to me?"

"Don't you get the feeling-"

"That this is wrong? Of course."

"No, that you're being watched, and your life is in danger," he finished, looking annoyed that I has interrupted him.

"Yeah, but I've learned to ignore it."

"Trust your senses, they're most likely correct. If you can't trust yourself, I can't trust you." I sorta knew what he meant.

"I still want to know: why are you never at school when you're supposed to be?" I asked, turning to face to mirror again. I heard him sigh. He walked up to me and placed his hand on my abdomen.

"I want to show I'll always be here."

"But you are, and that's what doesn't make a shred of sense." He leaned over so that his mouth was level with my right ear. I could feel his breath on my neck.

"Nothing makes sense. This world is cruel and wants to punish you... simply because it can," he whispered in that seductive tone of his.

"Thats great, thanks." When I made an attempt to leave, his hand held me in place. He wrapped his other hand around my waist and held me tightly against him.

"Did you really mean what you said? On New Years?" As soon as he finished, he began kissing up and down my neck. But his lips soon found my collar bone far more intriging.

"Of course," I whispered back. He stopped to reply.

"Then why did you forget? Do you know how... awful I felt?" he muttered through clenched teeth.

"What do you mean?" He stepped away and placed both hands on the sink. He leaned over, looking as if he was going to vomit.

"My birthday. You forgot it."

"Hold on a tick... Is this why you've been so... so mean?"

"How could you forget?!"

"Severus! Do even know when MY birthday is?!"

"That's beside the point."

"I'm insulted!" I cried with every ounce of fake hurt I could manage. "June..."

"You can't put me on the spot."

"Twentieth. June twentieth."

"January-"

"Ninth. I didn't forget. I'm surprised you didn't notice."

"What?"

"Look." I reached into the neck of my shirt and pulled out the little necklace I had made. "I made one for you." I pulled out the matching necklace from my pocket and handed it to him. He examined it.

"Snarianna?"

"Name smoosh," I explained.

"It looks like a five year old child made this."

"You know that hurts my feelings. I made it with love! If you don't wear it, I'll just suspect that you don't love me anymore."

"Fine," he sighed.

* * *

**Feb. 14**

Today was the day I finally got to see Severus after 13 days of isolation. To tell you truth, I really liked being to sleep in till lunch whenever I felt like it. I had never felt so free in my entire life. I would spend my days in in unconditional bliss, but at the end of the day, I would remember why things were the way they were. Every night I would cry myself to sleep...

The sound of of the door opening interrupted my thoughts. I knew Severus wouldn't use the door. I instictivelg drew my wand.

"Aurianna?"

"Who is it?" I demanded, my voice shaking like crazy.

"Put that thing away! You'll only end up hurting yourself," replied the bitter voice that seemed somewhat familiar.

"I've only come to deliver a message to you."

"From Severus?"

"Yes."

"Come in, then." A man with a rather familiar face and presence came into the living room. He had long, straight blond hair, and his pale blue eyes were full of hostility. I will admit he frightened me a bit.

"Here you go," he said, handing me an envelope.

"You can leave, now."

"Oh, I don't think so! I came all the way here, and I want to know what it says." I starred at him, unable to believe how rude was. "Read it out loud." I cautiously opened the envelope and took out the letter.

"Fine, here we go... Dear Aurianna, I'm sorry but you'll have to wait a bit longer for my visit. I'll come as soon as I possibly can, but don't wait for me. I don't want to disappoint you. How I've missed you these past few days... I can't stop thinking about things that could happen to you. I feel as if I didn't do the right thing by returning you home. How lonely you must feel... I can't wait to see come home to make sure you're alright. It would put my mind at ease. Tonight, you shall feel lonely more. That is a promise. Sincerely, Severus." I put down the letter. "Are you happy?"

"He told me to give you this." He pulled a package out of his cloak. I grabbed it from his hands.

"Are you planning on going anytime soon?"

"You're a nasty little creature, aren't you? To answer your question: not until I see what's in the package." I really hated this guy. "Open it!"

"Don't be telling me what to do!" I snapped. I turned the package over in my hand and tore off the wrapping. I took out my favorite shirt. "What the..? So that's where it- oh dear..." I turned it around to try and find what the man was laughing about. "I can't believe this... My favorite shirt!"

* * *

"What is the bloody point? I still don't understand why this is happening to me!" I was sitting on the edge of my bed, talking myself. I guess I hoped the tiny little fetus could hear me... It took away some of the loneliness.

"This world is cruel and wants to punish you simply because it can. I thought I had already told you."

"Severus?"

"Who else would it be?"

"I wanna talk to you about something!"

"Really?" I nodded.

"What were you thinking?" I demanded. Severus finally decide to come into the bedroom. He sat down next to me.  
"You ruined my favorite shirt!"

"I do believe I made it better," he said, put his hand on my shoulder. "Besides, I made it with... love." As he said this he tried not to laughed.

"You painted MILF on my favorite shirt!"

"You have to admit it makes for a good laugh."

"Yeah, I suppose you're right... It makes me feel loved, too." I think I must have spent a little too long starring at him, because he began to look uncomfortable, and looked away. "Anyway, you want a sandwich?"

"Exuse me?"

* * *

"See?! As you first eat around the outside before going in for the cheese, it's like a strip tease for the taste buds! And you go in for that bite with... with the cheese... and the sliced chicken... and... and the mayo... It's like heaven!" Severus starred at me. "What?"

"How can you make such a big deal out of-" As soon as he took a bite, his eyes lit up. I couldn't surpress a smile. He devoured the entire thing within seconds. He sat back in his chair contently as I got up and stood behind his chair.

"How have you been doing lately?" I asked, pulling his chair away from the table and sitting down on his lap.

"Everyone is panicking. Potter is no doubt involved somehow... Everything seems to revolve around him." I gave him a sympathetic look and wrapped my arms around his neck. He raised his eyebrows to demonstrate his growing suspicion. "What are you trying to get out of me?"

"Oh... Well, I just maybe... wanted some new books. You know, something to pass the time. If it's not too much to ask. I just want some more modern peices of writing - not that I have anything againt the classics."

"Okay then. I'll try to get you something as soon as I can, if you wish."

"Thank-you!" I planted a kiss on his cheek and hugged him tightly. Books really meant a lot to me.

* * *

"I still love your PJs," I said for the umpteenth time that night. I was starting to annoy myself... I snuggled in next him on the uncomfortable couch, and the two of didn't bothr to look up from our books. "Do you find me clingy?"

"A litlle," he replied. There was a moment of silence, and all that could be heard was the turning of pages. "But it's... almost cute." I smiled, and went on with my reading.

More silence... I hated silence. It made me lonely even with company. When conversation died down, I felt out of control... and I didn't much care for that either. The only way for me to deal with the feeling of inferiority was to: a) rearrange the books on a shelf b) lock and unlock a door repeatedly c) dig into the palm of each hand with my thumb until I wanted crying out in pain. Whenever I felt as if I had little or no control, I felt as if I couldn't breath. Of course, I got that feeling often... but no one knew about it.

"You know, during the summer, my parents began to think about institutionalize me. They grew tired of my pointless rambling, and my day-dreaming." I shuderred at the thought of living in an insane assylum... and of how I they had gone through with it, I wouldn't have been where I was now. The wonderful, greasy haired man next to me was now my life, and I didn't know how I would ever be able to live without him.

"Your parents wanted to come see your knew home soemtime during the summer haitus," Severus said in his monotone voice, snapping me out of me day-dream.

"Really? Good thing I set up my room in the spare bedroom. Wait... by then-"

"Your stomach would have expanded a good amount? Yes. That's the problem."

"Well, fuck me!" I cursed.

"I already did!" he cried in frustration. I burst out laughing and almost fell off the couch. Severus pulled me back up, and I rested my head on his lap.

"Oh God, how were you never popular? You're wonderful, and funny!" I closed my eyes and just took in his scent. I slowly drifted out of consciousness and into the magical dream land of night.

* * *

I absolutely loved moments like this. I opened my eyes to find myself in bed, Severus stroking my hair, my head agaisn his chest... The way his chest rose and fell calmed me and made sleeping easier. I often fell asleep on the couch, but woke up in my bed. That's how I had always been. Even the nights I spent alone in this empty house I always woke up in bed.

Only in times like these did I find silence to be golden. My sudden urge to turn around and kiss he man next to me was suppressed by my sleepiness. I closed my eyes again to try and rest them for an while. But the silence was soon interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Who would come knocking at such an hour?" I asked in a whisper.

"I don't know..."

"I'll get it." I heaved a sigh and got out of bed. He reach led out to stop me, though. He spun me around and kissed me. His lips were warm and had a sweet taste for once. He climbed back into bed and watched me leave the room.

I walked out into the living room and found my way to the front door. Opened it, and was greeted by a worried looking professor Dumbledore, "Hello, Aurianna. I like your pajamas."

"What's wrong, professor?" I asked, wiping the sleep from my eyes.

"Its urgent that I speak to professor Snape," he replied.

"Come in, then." He followed me into the living room, sat down, and refused when I offered him a cup of tea. "I'll go get him." I walked off down the hall and back into our room. "Severus, it's professor Dumbledore. He said it was urgent."

"But I want to sleep!" he whined.

"How old are you? God, get up!"

* * *

"I like your pajamas." Severus payed no attention to professor Dumbledore's compliment, he just continued to sip his tea. I wonder how it would take before he snapped...

"What did you want to tell me?" he asked, trying be polite as possible. I sat down next to him and gave him a smile.

"There's been another incident at Hogwarts," he replied. "But I also wanted to talk to you two about... this. I just want to be clear of what it is."

"Well..." Severus voice trailed off.

"I just want to remind you that even you being her legal guardian should be kept a bit of a secret. You may continue, professor." I looked at Severus, unsure of what he would say or do next.

"I don't know what you expect my answer to be," he replied finally. He looked at me for help, but I didn't dare say a word on the subject. "I know how I feel, she knows how she feels, and I do believe that is the end."

"I just want to know of that seemingly lovestruck epression is really fatherly affection." Severus looked at loss for words. I had a growing feeling of guilt in the pit of my stomach. Professor Dumbledore's kind eyes didn't help.

"What does it matter? All that matters to me is that he can act as a provider and help me in me time of need. Isn't that what a parent is?" I could tell by the look in Severus's face that I had really saved his ass.

"You're far more intelligent that I thought," he whispered.

"Would you mind accompanying me back to Hogwarts, professor?" I couldn't hide my disappointment. The day that I finally got to see him...

"You don't give me much of a choice, here." I wanted more than anything to tell him not to leave me again... but I'm too much of a coward. "Would it bother you, Aurianna?" My time to shine!

"Why, yes, it would Severus. Of course it would. I most certainly don't get to spend much time with you, and that really bothers me. A lot. Every time you leave, you leave my world so unbelievably cold. I can't help but wander if you want me to kill myself because of my loneliness... Actually, suicide does sound nice. I could escape being a teenage parent! Yesh, I shall givesh it a try. Go on, leave. Just don't be surprised if you come back to find me lying on the floor. Dead. Lovely thought, isn't it? I hope the guilt drives you to your own suicide... maybe then we can be away from stupid interruptions like this." They both starred at me in complete silence. Severus was obviously furious, and professor Dumboedore looked a little surprised and a little disturbed. But that felt really good to say what I felt.

"I'll see you tomorrow," said professor Dumbledore, already halfway to the door.

"Why did you do that?" asked Severus. His face was as red as a tomato.

"Cos, that's how I feel and I want you to know the truth. Shall we go back to bed?"

* * *

"Severus, please, hold me like you never want to let go." Severus looked surprised, but obeyed my wishes. I felt the warmth almost immediately. I felt safe. Content... even though I knew how mad he was.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I just don't think it would be fair-"

"Its okay," he assured me. He began to push my hair back behind my ear continuously. My hair was not cooperating.

"I love you," I whispered. I felt him tense up. I turned around, now on my knees, placed each leg on either side of his waist, and stuck my face in his. "What are you afraid of? Revealing your feelings to another human being?" I then put my hands on his shoulders, holding him place. I thought I heard him whimper. "Who would have thought? Severus Snape, afraid of love! Ha!" I lowered myself so that I could plant a kiss on his cheek, before curling next to him, legs and arms stretched over his chest kind of like a cat. He seemed a little surprised.

"Aurianna?"

"Happy valentines day," I mumbled, already half asleep. "Also, I miss my cat. I want it back." He laughed lighly pulled me closer.

* * *

**Feb. 15**

When I woke up, I was lying of the bed long wise. I had my legs stretched over the pillows, and one arm draped over the edge of the bed. That's when I noticed I was alone. I jumped out of bed, and rubbed my eyes.

"Severus?"

Silence. So much silence. Too much silence. I hated silence. Silence gave me no answer... no comfort.

I ran through the entire house calling his name, but got no reply. I finally gave up and slumped down on the couch, tears in my eyes. I couldn't believe he wouldnt bother to say goodbye...

I hated being left alone. I knew I would be cut off from all social interaction till June... I knew I would be lucky of he took off a night or two before then to come see me... Of course, such a thing would be highly unlikely. Not to mention he wouldn't be happy about it...

I decided it was best not to think about such subjects if I wanted to make it to the summer haitus. The best thing to do in this situation for me would be a hearty breakfast. But but when I saw the supplies that remained in the refrigerator, I began to wonder if Severus cared for me at all. He must have had himself a nice midnight snack.

"Do you want me to starve?" I sighed.

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**I'm so sorry! The OOCness eroding from Severus makes me want to puke!!! I must punish myself!  
I have been listening to Ocean Soul by Nightwish repeatedly...****  
Anyway, please, please, please review! Tell me what you think so far!!!! Please? S'il vous plait????**


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